I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
