I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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