$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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