I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
