Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
