What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
