The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He felt like a one man threesome
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
