Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
