I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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