Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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