I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
