Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize