i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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