he puts the penis in happiness.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
