So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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