Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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