Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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