I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
