This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
