Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
