I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
