your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
