I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
