I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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