remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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