I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
