It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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