You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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