I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize