he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
