Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
