her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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