he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
