I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
