i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize