Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
