You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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