I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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