wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
someone owes me an orgasm
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
