Duck Duck Cougar?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
