shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
