No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
