Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
