i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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