Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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