are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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