i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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