You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
