My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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