Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
