You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
