spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
