My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
