Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
