i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
