none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
