sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
