Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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