don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize