I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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