OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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