she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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